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Instead of ignoring or distracting themselves from their fears and insecurities, integrating persons honestly appraise, discuss, and work to address them.
An intimate relationship with a mature and understanding partner can serve as a wonderful context for doing so.
Despite the mediocre or problem-riddled nature of such relationships, people are terrified of being without them.
There may be a real sense in which they need their partner to survive.
To become more whole, peaceful, and effective, one must learn to reconcile and integrate the entirety of the functional stack.
As I’ve discussed elsewhere, the opposing nature of these functions can beget a great deal of strife and dysfunction, both personally and interpersonally.
At first blush, such relationships may seem less safe or less secure.
While the infatuation stage of a relationship can certainly seem blissful and salvific, once its newness wears off and real life resumes, the need for personal integration inevitably resurfaces.
Just as the physical body continues to grow to until it reaches maturity, the psyche seems to have a hard-wired plan for psychological development.
For some persons, this distraction manages to stunt or appease their need for their personal growth for the rest of their lives.
In such instances, the relationship is like a crutch, allowing them to hobble along and somehow ignore the fact they have a broken leg.
It is not that we don’t want, or even need, salvation.